Harper’s Index: My First Year in Federal Prison

Number of hours spent incarcerated: 8,760

Minimum number of times I’ve stood for census count: 768

Number of cellmates I’ve lived with: 6

Number of shakedowns: 2

Number of riots: 0

Estimated number of miles walked around the track field: 432

Number of books read: 71

Number of those books that came from the prison library: 32

Number of visits: 21

Number of letters sent: 216

Number of letters received: 182

Minimum number of phone calls placed: 240

Money spent on phone calls: $828

Money spent at commissary: $2,701.65

Total income earned working as a tutor: $459.17

Minimum number of times I’ve stepped through a metal detector: 3,285

Number of times I’ve been strip searched: 22

Estimated slices of wheat bread served at chow: 1,152

Estimated servings of beans served at chow: 192

Number of tea bags steeped: 1,344

Number of Ramen Noodles eaten: 137

Number of Tums popped: 192

Number of batteries used and discarded: 88

Number of tubes of anti-fungal cream purchased: 8

Number of times I’ve gotten scabies: 1

Number of times I’ve visited a doctor: 4

Number of times I’ve talked to a psychologist: 3

Number of times I’ve had my teeth cleaned: 1

Total spent on medical services: $10

Number of photos in my photo album: 58

Number of those photos that contain pets: 10

Number of times the words “God” and “alone” appear
in my personal journal, respectively: 6, 14

Number of times the Assistant Warden has been busted for soliciting
sex from a prostitute: 2

Number of sexual encounters: 7

Number of inmate suicides: 1

Number of family members who have died during my incarceration: 1

Number of family members who still don’t know I’m in prison: 14

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